La vague


Le sommeil se faufile et s’évade

La vie aujourd’hui a un goût fade

Je me languis, je m’ennuie,

Je me soucie, c’est fini.

La vague de béton s’abat

Sur ma poitrine en émoi.

J’étouffe, aidez-moi,

Ecoutez ce cœur qui bat.

Voile noir, pensées embrumées

Refluent, lentement poussés

Au loin par le calme retrouvé.

Au coin de quelle rue,

Au détour de quel parfum

Me surprendras-tu

De bon matin, ce soir, demain?

5. Juillet 2017

Intermezzo “life is life”

Maybe you came for MOOC udate or a fun learning fact. This week is a bit different. It is a low. So the theme will be deeper.

I lost a loved one recently.

I found my way through the very first wave of grieving. Not easy. Using my favorite methods of self-reflection and awareness:  I made it through!

Now comes the second wave. Intense. Misleading. Wave after wave of gibberish emotions. Lost in translation. I am running on 50% energy. Exhausting. 

So I set priorities day after day, one day at a time. Patience, resilience, I know it will get better: time cures everything. One step at a time. 

Yet. Darn. Mille milliards de mille sabord! “Why does it have to be so painful?”, I ask myself. No one answers. Well I didn’t really want an answer anyway.

I debatted whether I wanted to share these reflections on my blog. Maybe it shows I am weak, maybe it will upset people, maybe they will laugh at me, maybe they will stop reading and never come again. 

And yet, maybe one person will stay. One person will find something in this blog post that helps them deal with their own sorrow or stress or conundrum today. Then it is all worth it.

Because helping you helps me too.


Thanks for sharing this moment and reading thus far. Stay put… the MOOC reflections will be back soon.

A new chapter has begun


New phase, new life, new me. Transformation, maturation, coming of age. 

I can fly. As high as I want. No boundaries. I am my own master. 

I can fall. Hard. No safety net. No shoulder to cry on. No more unconditional love.

I am the elder now. Chapter closed. 

Wait! What is this? A back door? An illusion? The chapter is not closed, it is merely beginning to unfold.

So what is the big deal about being “parentless”, fatherless and motherless. Big blank. Scary for some, secret for others. Taboo for most.

For me it means feeling empty and exhilarated at the same time. I feel small and big. I feel lost and in charge. 

The strength comes from within, like a fire, strong hot coals glimmering deep inside, fueling a fierce drive to keep moving, growing, leading. 

Has anyone felt this before? How did you deal with it?

Like a boat in the storm


I find myself in an emotionally challenging situation these days. Something tells me I am not the only one.
In an attempt to make sense of the many contradictory emotions passing through me recently I have written a short metaphoric text. It helped me. I hope it helps you too. In any situation.

*Original version in French below

“Everyone reacts to the current situation in their own way and with their own filters. We are all on a boat, in a storm. On the same boat. In the same storm. Yet at the same time each of us is all alone on their boat, alone with their fears, their anger, their pain, each of us in their own way.  

Everyone is trying to protect themselves, and by doing so is hurting the people around them. Without wanting it, without seeing it. 

I am afraid we are going to hurt each other a lot, without wanting or seeing it, in the next days and weeks. Nerves are raw and tolerance is low. What can I do?”

After writing this, I came upon a post about how kindness can help unlock disagreements or simply make someone’s day better. It reminded me that being kind makes my day better too. It reminded me that I need to look outside of my stormy boat and check on other little boats. See how they’re doing, give them kind words or a kind smile. It doesn’t solve my problems or reduce my pain.

But it feels good, every time. Again and again.



Original version:

Chacun réagit à la situation actuelle à sa façon et avec ses filtres. 

Nous sommes tous sur un bateau dans la tempête. Dans le même bateau. La même tempête. Mais en même temps chacun d’entre nous est tout seul sur son bateau, tout seul avec sa peur, sa colère et sa douleur, chacun à sa façon. 

Chacun cherche à se protéger et au passage fait du mal aux autres. Sans le vouloir, sans le voir. 

J’ai bien peur que l’on se fasse tous du mal sans le vouloir sans le voir dans les prochains jours, les prochaines semaines. Les nerfs sont à fleur de peau et la tolérance au minimum.

Que faire?

Get started even though you might fail


Since I started in my new job 4 months ago I have initiated a number of new projects and ideas. While I have succeeded in many I have also failed at more than one.

That is why this recommendation from Dr.Travis Bradberry, “Get started even though you might fail” resonated with me.

As I am learning to understand the new environment I am working in, I have been testing what works and what doesn’t. I have hit a few doors and one or too muddy stretches. Each time I reminded myself that it was OK to slow down or change direction, as long as the overall goal was still in sight. That is the “step by step” application of what Dr. Bradberry recommends. The low-risk version one might say. 

What about the high risk? Changing job, employer and industry does qualify as the high risk version. I might fail. Fail at what? Adapting to the new culture, understanding the new business I am in, leveraging my competences to get the job done, effectively influencing the business for a better outcome. These are just a few of the dimensions I could fail upon… and it would take a lot of failures to fail altogether!

That is why I got started in the first place. How I did it? I sliced the beast. Or the elephant as project managers say. I defined the steps that lead to my goal. I cut it in digestible chunks. For me. And I started each small step, knowing I could fail, doing everything so I would succeed.

How do you get started on big goals? How do you get started over and over again on the small things of life?

Inspired by following article from Dr. Travis Bradberry
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/habits-dramatically-improve-your-life-dr-travis-bradberry

Getting unstuck

Once in a while I get stuck. In negative thoughts, in crazy “what-ifs”, in “it is not that bad anyway”.

By now I recognize the signals: I become irritable, impatient, dissatisfied or even just drained. When I consciously start recognizing these signals I must stop. Literally. I need to sit down and ask myself “What is bothering you? What is triggering this reaction in you?”.

And my first reaction is to think it is not that bad (!). But I know better. I insist and  force myself to stop and look in the mirror. I have done this many times, sometimes early, sometimes very late, and I have learned that a lot of positive momentum comes out of it. So I make myself look forward to the expected reward. And it usually comes along. 

How does it work? What is the secret to answering the “what is bothering you question?”

I learned to be honest with myself. And the most important word is not honest but myself. My real self. The one with weaknesses, fears, hopes and aspirations. The one who doesn’t want to get hurt and the one who wants to make a better world. I am compassionate and understanding with my own self. But also challenging and pushy. 

In doing so I actively listen to my real self, mitigate my fears and fuel my higher aspirations. 

And I get unstuck. I am amazed everytime it happens. It is like magic. It unleashes so much energy. I feel I could change the world.

How do you get unstuck? What is your secret recipe?

Carpe diem!


Carpe diem sounds so easy when you have a lifetime ahead of you. It must feel bitter or maybe pointless when you know how many days you have left to live.

What is the point of waking up and working in the garden? I might not be here next spring to enjoy the blooms.

How can I enjoy the chat about next summer’s vacation? I might not be there to see it. 

Why should I share and feel for my grand-daughter? I won’t see her grow up anyway. 

It is hard not to judge or be hurt by those thoughts when you are on the receiving end. They cut through me like the sharpest blade. Yet I understand. 

I can only barely imagine the emotional pain of knowing, and not really being sure, not wanting to accept or to give up without a good fight, that your life is likely to end very soon.

Life becomes a roller coaster of good and bad days, of pain and relief, of bitter and sweet, of hurting and being hurt, of anger and despair. 

How can I help? You cannot.

Guillotine statement that cuts the tie between the ones who live and the ones who don’t. 

Don’t ask. Just be there. Give. Take. Enjoy every happy moment, ignore the rest.

Carpe diem!

— Inspired by life and “On Death and Dying” by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross